Na elke vlug voltooi Qantas vlieëniers ‘n vorm, wat hulle noem die “gripe sheet”. Hierdie vorm lig die instandhoudingsingenieurs in omtrent alles wat fout is met die betrokke vliegtuig. Die ingenieurs herstel dan die foute, dokumenteer hul herstelwerk op die vorm, en die vlieëniers bestudeer dan weer die vorm voor die volgende vlug.
Laat daar nooit gesê word dat grondpersoneel nie ‘n sin vir humor het nie! Hier is ‘n paar voorbeelde van klagtes wat vlieëniers opgeteken het en die oplossings wat gedokumenteer is deur die instandhoudingsingenieurs.
P: Left side main tyre almost needs replacement.
E: Almost replaced left side main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
E: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
E: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
E: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
E: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
E: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
E: That’s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
E: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
E: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
E: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best for last:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget!
TERLOOPS, QANTAS IS DIE ENIGSTE GROOT LUGREDERY WAT NOG NOOIT, OOIT ‘N ONGELUK GEHAD HET NIE……!
Eendjie 
Kommentaar